The Calm Cup · free tool
Hard moment with your child?
Start with you.
Kids borrow calm from the adults around them. This takes you through it one step at a time: steady yourself, then what to do and say.
- 1. Steady youThree slow breaths
- 2. Notice themWhere is your child right now?
- 3. Connect, then guideWhat to do and say
First, you.
Ready when you are.
Breathe in as the cup fills, and out slowly as it empties. Three breaths.
Where is your child right now?
Not sure? Start with "In the storm." You can move between steps at any time.
Safety first. Move siblings and anything breakable, and give space if you need to. If anyone is in danger, call 911.
Try saying
Do
Hold off on
Now, you again.
That was hard, and you stayed with it. Before you move on, take a minute for yourself.
- Refill your cupWater, a snack, a few minutes alone if you can get them.
- Name one thingFind one thing you did that helped, even if it was just staying nearby.
- Let go of perfectNobody gets it right every time. Repair matters more than getting it perfect.
- Reach outText a friend or your partner. You don't have to carry this alone.
Want a plan for next time?
If hard moments are happening a lot, a few sessions can help you spot the patterns and feel more prepared.
This is general information for families, not therapy or medical advice. Every child is different. If you're worried about anyone's safety, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency department. You can call or text 9-8-8 any time.